Insecure Writer’s Here I Come!

Today is a busy day! If you’re looking for my:
No Kiss Blogfest entry, click HERE.
Cover Reveal for The Charge is HERE.

Most of you are well aware of Alex’s great idea called IWSG (see above). December pushed me to the point where I really needed to join up, so here I am. For those of you who haven’t seen this monthly meme around the blogs, here’s a quick run down.

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

So what pushed me over the edge? Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s just that…

I’m a neurotic emotional GIRL???

Let’s see, over a two week period in December I rode some serious roller coaster of emotions.

  • Christmas and all that comes with it (I HATE shopping, and yeah I know that makes me a disgrace to my sex.) πŸ™‚ and 😦
  • I got the perfect present–a CELLO! πŸ˜€
  • I batted 0-3 on gifts for hubby. They’ve all been returned and swapped out now. 😦
  • I got my e-galleys. πŸ˜€
  • I gained 5lbs. 😦
  • The Magic Wakes lost 8,000 words (this sent me into a battle with myself like no other. I saw it as, “My writing is still crap! If she had to take out 8K then it was really bad.”) 😦
  • But reading the whole book and seeing how close we are getting to the release also made me πŸ™‚
  • My kids were home all day and that means the loss of peace and quiet even when they are being good. πŸ™‚ and 😦
  • My hubby told me that every time I talk about my book he gets angry. So, he basically hates/resents my life long dream.  πŸ˜¦
  • Barnes and Nobles didn’t say no to my inquiry about having a book release there. They haven’t said yes yet either, but I’ll take what I can at the moment. πŸ™‚
  • Hubby and I had a good talk and he gave me a set budget to spend on marketing and purchase of books for a fair I plan to attend in May. πŸ™‚
  • I bought 2000 bookmarks! πŸ™‚ 
  • I bet I bought too many bookmarks. 😦
  • I signed up to run a 1/2 marathon in April πŸ™‚ and 😦
And then there is the normal–please tell me this is normal–fear of writing the next book in the series. Part of me really wants to dig in and knock this baby out. If I can shake all my recent insecurities and what I learned from book 1, I can make this one even better, right? 
But what if no one likes the first one? Then all the work on book 2 would be a waste of time. 
Or worse, what if Talia and Landry decide not to share any more of their story with me. I’ve planned out 4 books, but we all know how sometimes characters don’t cooperate. 
Mostly I’m just a nervous wreck because in a month and a half my book will be out in the world. Although I wrote for me, now I’m scared I’m going to disappoint my friends and family. 
Do you think serenity yoga would help?

About charitybradford

Science fiction and fantasy writer and blogger. My first novel is now available--The Magic Wakes (WiDo Publishing, 2013)

Posted on January 2, 2013, in IWSG, Personal Journaling, World of Sendek. Bookmark the permalink. 44 Comments.

  1. Yoga's not working for me. LOL. I think you are perfectly normal. No one understands (like another artist) the angst that goes on in our heads.BTW, I am always 0 for 3 with hubby's gifts and we've been married 31 years.Hang in there. Amy

  2. Make a date night with hubby where you don't talk about the book at all. I am having some issues with book two, but if no one likes book one at least the books are out there and someone WILL like it! And they will like yours. It is never a waste doing what you truly love. Hang in there!

  3. It's so good to know I'm not alone in all of this! For what it's worth, I'm starting yoga soon too. Glad to have found you.

  4. Charity, don't get mad, but I laughed through most of that. Yes, normal! (Especially for emotional women.) And it will continue with the ups and downs even after the book comes out.However, once that happens, your life will change forever. And that WILL be a good thing!

  5. Welcome to IWSG! Well, it's a new year, and you need to focus on the new path. You've accomplished so much this past year. Happy New Year!

  6. I love your little list of things! Welcome to ISWG πŸ™‚ What are you planning to do with 2000 bookmarks?!You seem to have done very well on 2012, so keep going, because ou seem to be doing fine. (I have the same worry as you with the whole sequel thing!)

  7. Thanks Amy! Too bad about the yoga. That would have been a nice easy fix. πŸ™‚

  8. That's a great idea Mel! Thanks for the reminder that we should write and then let those who will like it find it.Good luck on book two! I hope you find your solutions. I'm digging back in to writing today. *fingers crossed*

  9. Woot for yoga! And ditto the not alone. I think that's all that keeps me going sometimes.

  10. I'm glad you laughed Alex. Someone needs to see the humor in this until I can. Until then, I'm waiting for that official release and my life changing. I just hope I'm ready.

  11. YES! And I deserve to enjoy this!

  12. LOL, give them out like candy. Another author suggested 2000 but I'm now thinking that is A LOT of bookmarks. I'm going to send a couple hundred to my mom to hand out as well. Good luck with your sequel!

  13. Totally normal. I know it can be hard to wade through all this, but yeah, it's normal. I don't know about the yoga. When I start to feel a little too crazy, I go for a swim. It helps because I have to use earplugs when I swim. It gives me time to be the only thing in my head. I also count my strokes, which makes it a sort of meditation. Maybe the Yoga will help you.And I'm still excited about your book.

  14. *hugs* Thanks so much Rena! I'm going to try swimming some laps as part of my cross training. I signed up for a half marathon. Usually running is my time to unwind, but I haven't done it in almost 2 years. That's probably my problem. πŸ™‚ When I run I get this little dialogue going, "just keep running, just keep running (channeling Dory)" and "just to the next mailbox", "just to that light pole", just to that corner", until I've made it home. I think the simplifying of thoughts to just one aspect of my life is good for me. Too many times us writers have WAY too much static noise in the background of everything we do. Drat those wonderful voices in our heads!

  15. That is sooo normal. LOLBest wishes for 2013. :)IWSG #137 until Alex culls the list again.

  16. Great list. I should do one!Thanks for an awesome post.

  17. Wow! I didn't know someone else had been on the same roller coaster ride as me. Thanks for the awesome list! I didn't have exactly all those twists and turns, but I've definitely been on a similar ride. You've accomplished a huge amount, and I'm looking forward to your book! It won't be a disappointment, it will be awesome!Best wishes for your all your writing projects!

  18. LOL 2000 bookmarks? Ah well they're cheep if you find the right place. I know you'll whip those extra pounds off in no time flat. And congratulations on moving closer to your release date. Wido takes its time (but they're also very meticulous). I hope your 2013 brings you so much joy you can't handle it.

  19. Yoga might help. Just take it as it comes. I'd rather be nervous that my book is about to come out than nervous that my fulls still haven't been answered. (I'm not saying you shouldn't be nervous or downplaying it at all. I'm just pointing out you worked hard to get here, so take it as it comes).

  20. Thanks Beth! I hope you get good news from those fulls.

  21. I think it's sad when a spouse doesn't support what you love. Not sure what to do about it, of course. My daughter sometimes gives me a hard time about it because she wants more attention. As for sequels, I found it hard to write one, but I kept plugging away. I'm sure if I can do it, so can you. I look forward to reading your book.

  22. Thanks Michael! It will, I'm sure. I just need to calm down, breathe, and focus on the positive. There is so much to be grateful for.

  23. Thanks Tyrean! I hope your stomach has settled after the roller coaster ride? I don't know about you but I'm ready for something a bit calmer for a while. Something more like the carousel. πŸ™‚ Good luck!

  24. I find list easier to deal with sometimes. πŸ™‚

  25. I laughed out loud at your I bought 2000 bookmarks…I bet I bought too many. We've all been there πŸ™‚

  26. I'm glad you enjoyed that. Funny thing is that my non-supportive husband is the one that said 2000 after another author suggested it on facebook. I'll never understand! LOL. Well, maybe I'll roll them up and put them in balloons full of helium to release on Feb. 19th. Hey, that might actually be a cool idea!

  27. Oh my goodness, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, reading this post, Charity. I'm sorry your hubby gets angry when you talk about you book (your dream). Maybe he's a bit jealous cause he's not pursuing his. Good luck.Karen

  28. Hi Charity! I just discovered your blog thanks to the IWSG and I'm glad to learn about your book. Congratulations!! It sounds awesome and is definitely going on my TBR list. And I'm a fellow disgrace to the female sex, as there is nothing I hate doing more than shopping! πŸ˜€

  29. Yay! I'm glad I'm not alone on that shopping thing. Sore feet, back, disgust at the sizes going up and up, long lines, outrageous prices–seems like there is always something to make it miserable.

  30. LOL, emotions are good either way! Hubby and I have talked and things will get better. He really does need a hobby or goal that isn't work related that will make him feel better. Maybe he'll find it in 2013!Thanks for stopping by.

  31. I loved your book, and that was how many revisions ago? I, for one, can't wait for the sequel (you'll need my beta services for that, too, won't you? Please. Pretty please.).

  32. Man and I thought my life was stinky! You ARE a great writer. If you are the only one who likes your book then it is a success! (But I already know I love it!) Maybe your hubby needs a good hug and to remember that some day you will be making tons of money from movie rights. Don't worry about the Christmas gifts…. I am sure he has bombed before. πŸ˜‰ And all you need is a good running partner! Running makes you feel good inside! HUGS and calming thoughts!

  33. Roller coasters and carousel can make you sick… you better just sit in a quiet corner!

  34. I can identify with nearly all of your points (um, except the ones involving being published πŸ˜‰ I also hate shopping, and am female. I think I'd like it more if I wasn't broke?As for your husband, I know those kinds of remarks can be crushing. My own husband has zero interest in my writing and seems to get this glazed look when I talk about writing…but I don't doubt that he supports me. It isn't his thing. He can't really understand what I'm feeling (cause its my freaking DREAM AND I AM ALL STOKED!!!), but that doesn't mean he doesn't want me to be happy. I'm sure yours probably feels the same. Besides, if I was in the midst of publishing, I'd be yammering on about it non-stop, which I'm sure would get old real fast ;)Best of luck in all you do! Happy roller-coaster ride πŸ™‚

  35. Awe, thanks Kaye! When I stop to think about it this way it makes sense. I used to glaze over when he talked about his job (which I didn't understand) so it's probably the same for him.Good luck with your writing too! I'm wishing you the best.

  36. *hugs* Now I'm crying! I miss you Laura! Stink! That's all I'm going to say.

  37. That's a lot for one person. And you are not alone. But 2013 is going to rock. For both of us. =) Someone great recently told me that. =)

  38. LOL, Positive thoughts right? Positive out, positive in. Breathe. πŸ˜‰

  39. You know it! And I'm working on it now instead of the YA one. So maybe right before summer?

  40. You should say Negative out, positive in!

  41. I can so relate to these, especially the shopping and hubby parts. Your husband is probably just jealous of the attention the book takes away from him, the housework,etc. I have the same problem, only I'm not published, so it's even worse 'cuz it's still just a dream for me. Congrats on your book release.

  42. Hi Charity,Wow. It sounds like you've had a crazy few weeks!! Deep breaths. :)Don't worry. You'll definitely be able to write the next books. Every single writer I've ever talked to has felt this way. After that first book, you can't help but wonder if you will ever be able to pull that off again. The good news is that it takes a certain kind of person to successfully finish writing a whole book.AND, if you happen to be that kind of person (which you obviously are) that means you can definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, do it again–even if it doesn't feel like it. Just break it down into workable goals and take it one day at a time. I hope things work out with your husband and that he becomes more supportive. Glad I found your blog and welcome to the IWSG!!

  43. This post cracked me up because I relate in so many ways, and I'm going to leave a long comment so be warned. #1 Your writing is not crap. You have a real future as a sci fi writer and I hope you write a lot more of it! Taking out words is merely to tighten the narrative flow, make your book marketable, and give it the chance it deserves to succeed among those millions of other choices out there. #2 Family and close friends often resent the time writers spend on writing and marketing. Understandable since it's such a solitary, time-intensive pursuit. Plus it takes time to build into something lucrative, which may or may not happen, making it seem like a hobby that's become an obsession. Maintaining balance is key to success (i.e. not giving up!) #3 You probably did buy too many bookmarks. I still have an entire box of Farm Girl bookmarks, because I put them away in a closet when I should've given them out so don't be like me LOL. Give away your bookmarks like mad. You can always order more. #4 You might stay with your series, might not, as only time will tell, but I hope you do stick with sci fi! Staying within one's genre helps boost the writing career. #5 I didn't know you played the cello, I love the cello! I don't play but my youngest son did.

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