Show Me Yours and I’ll Show You Mine Blogfest

The No Kiss and Eye Candy Blogfest entries are below this one. 
Wow! Three blogfests in a row. Today is the Show me yours and I’ll show you mine blogfest hosted by Summer Frey. Share an excerpt of your NaNoWriMo novel. All we ask is that you keep it around 500 words in order for us to read as many as possible.

This was HARD! I have lots of new favorite scenes, but they were all too long, and too revealing. Since this Nano was book 2 in a series I have to be very careful what I pick to post. I can’t give certain things away from book 1, right? That’s why there is one spot of blanks ______. Just humor me. 🙂 This was between 500 and 600 words. I tried! For anyone new, this is a science fantasy. The narrator is Talia and Landry is her husband.

Efrem took the first watch and I tried to sleep. We didn’t start a fire, but I used a bit of stored energy to warm myself from the inside. I had planned to let Efrem freeze, but I knew my anger was unjustified, so I lay my hand on his arm and let a little energy seep into him. His eyes opened wide as the warmth flowed in, and he stared as he pulled away.

I shrugged, wiggled under a bush, and tried to hide from his curious eyes, curling into a ball on my side facing the Controllers fortress. Although hidden by the leaves, I knew it loomed there. Unmovable, impenetrable, and as hard as the frozen ground I lay on.

Thoughts of Landry kept sleep at bay. Jaron once showed me how to seek out other minds while in a dream state. Now, I wanted to find Landry, somewhere inside all that stone. Would he be asleep? What if they were hurting him right now? I tried to push those thoughts out of my mind and rolled to my back.

The twigs and leaves blocked the sky from my view, and I was grateful. The constellations were all different, and I didn’t need to feel homesick on top of everything else. I stretched my legs and breathed slowly through my nose and out my mouth. It was an old trick I used to use after nightmares of my own death. My heart rate calmed and my muscles relaxed as I watched the cloud of my breath dissolve into the night. I closed my eyes and pictured Landry in my mind. Remembered how his mind felt when we were connected. Then I pushed my spirit out of my body and into the night.

All my emotions dissipated. “Jaron was right. Emotions stay with the body.” The analytical part of me knew this was good. They would not hinder me now.

Finding Landry was easy. Our magical bond was strong and my spirit self flew straight to him. He lay in a dirt cell three floors under the ground. A single torch set high on the wall illuminated the drying blood on his swollen face. My spirit self knelt beside him, tried to touch him and brushed air.

Bending closer, I tried to speak to his mind, but he had retreated to a small corner of his brain, much like my magic induced coma after ____ ____ ____. His walls were strong, and I could not break through. It would take days or weeks for him to heal himself this way. The Controllers would never give him that much time.

I lay beside him and rolled into his body, letting my dream self fill his limbs. The pain made me gasp. The smell made me gag. His broken ribs, punctured lung, and cranial bleeding fought for my attention against the smell of dirt, blood and human waste.

The stored energy from the sunrise seeped from my spirit into his battered body. It reacted greedily, soaking it in as his cells regenerated and then repaired the damaged bone and tissue. He didn’t regain consciousness, but I felt him slip into a more peaceful sleep.

My body pulled my spirit back and I woke with a startled cry.

“What is it?” Efrem whispered close by.

“Nothing. Nothing.” I choked back the sobs as emotions matched up with the images and sensations from the vision. At least I healed him. Perhaps it would give him an advantage when his tormentors returned tomorrow.


About charitybradford

Science fiction and fantasy writer and blogger. My first novel is now available--The Magic Wakes (WiDo Publishing, 2013)

Posted on January 3, 2011, in Blogfest, World of Sendek. Bookmark the permalink. 29 Comments.

  1. Ooh, I liked this! I felt I really connected with your MC. I learned he/she has special powers, is from a different world, is trying to rescue a friend. This looks like a rocking story! Good job!

  2. This is fabulous, and it left me wanting more. Thanks for sharing.

  3. A truly wonderful piece….I was there in an instant, fully involved….thank you.

  4. Charity–great scene. I am certainly interested in what happens next, and also fascinated by the environment and conflict you've set up for your MC. Good job!

  5. Hi Charity. I really enjoyed this and feel connected to the MC already. I want to read more!

  6. Great stuff! Really pulled me into the story!

  7. Science Fantasy, eh? Color me interested. I was really intrigued about this piece – also i especially liked the "emotion stayed with the body" bit. Very nice!

  8. I love the description of her healing him. Very interesting! I really enjoyed this, Charity, thanks for participating!

  9. Very nice! Heartbreaking, yet I am intrigued. i want to know more about your MC's powers. great job and thanks for joining this blogfest!!

  10. I really liked this! It sounds like an excellent story and leaves me wanting to know more!

  11. That was so great! Really interesting and I would love to read more.

  12. Very interesting. I was hooked and want to know more.

  13. Awesome Charity! I love it! Hope to read more!!

  14. "The stored energy from the sunrise seeped from my spirit into his battered body." I really like the imagery in this line, it helped lend so much to the story. You have a wonderful little snippet here. I enjoyed the read

  15. This is great! Great atmosphere without being all melodramatic and howling on the moors. I'd like to know more about who your MC is.

  16. Love the atmosphere in this excerpt. As Summer quoted: 'The stored energy…' Great descriptions. Happy New Year!

  17. More! *grabby hands*

  18. I'm definitely a fan of the emotions staying with the body. That's nice. I also appreciate your use of language — clean and uncluttered with great flow. Reaching the end of the excerpt was frustrating. I'd love to find out what happens

  19. I really enjoyed the tension that grows from the narrator's physical location vs. Landry's prison cell. Astral travel is a great, sneaky way to give a view into what's happening elsewhere in your story! Thanks for sharing.

  20. Oh, poor Landry. I really want to know what happens to him. Nice job! Thanks for sharing.

  21. Interesting stuff. I have to say, I'm wondering who the narrator is, and what his or her connection is to Efram and Landry. Is Landry the love interest? (And does that mean that the narrator is female?)I very much liked the description of the narrator's powers, especially the astral projection type effect. The descriptions of the conflict with Efram and the narrator's concerns about Landry are well described too, but I'm not sure how to relate to them yet.One minor typo I spotted; "The Controller’s would never…" Don't use the possessive here, it's plural. (I think.) Controllers.Thanks for participating and letting us read your writing! I enjoyed it very much.

  22. How uniquely lovely and sweet. I loved how her spirit presence sent him into a more peaceful sleep. Thank you so much for sharing!

  23. I liked how you handled her spirit going to him and healing his body. I'd love to see the series as a whole and learn more about them. This was just a tease, but a lovely one. Thank you.

  24. Super interesting and well done. I wanted to hug your MC! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  25. I seriously love this story. Every piece I have read before and this one are sooo good. Like really. Glad you participated in this fest, just so I could read. J

  26. OH, wait you said this is the sequel. Well, then, I bet I've read pieces of the first book and still love this equally. J

  27. I love this! So glad I found your blog. 🙂

  28. Thank you everyone who stopped by and commented. I'm still working my way through 3 blogfests worth of entries, so be patient with me, but I will get to your blog this week.I tried to personally email all commenters, but if I missed you THANK YOU!This blogfest came at a great time to boost all of our writing egos. 😉

  29. Wow! That was so compelling. You have perfect flow to your words here. It makes me wish I could read this story from start to finish.

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